My favourite gesture is when a lad kisses me behind the lugholes. It is bleedin' intimate and cute. Makes a bint have butterflies in her stomach. I just want a man who will do that to me and more. All I have at the moment is my hotdog pillow.

Being in a relationship is not easy peasy. That's why I decided to refrain from being involved in relationships. With that, all I want right now is to search for a bloke who is willing to flirt and to get dirty with me all night long.

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

I'm a classy woman who loves herself and the people around her. She treats everyone well and is not impolite to strangers. I read all the time, and I enjoy TED talks. But when boredom creeps in, I go to a pub to have a sip of wine.

Cuddling and falling asleep together is the best aspect of every relationship for me. It's been years since I last felt the comfort of having strong arms wrapped around my body. I am actually quite desperate to feel that again. Maybe you can help me ...